Why I'm such a Sinner

Like I said in a previous post I am messed up! God has a way of doing that. I've been really thinking lately, "Why don't certain things bother me like they should." Why is it that we are not bothered by the cross being removed from our churches and a mythical symbol (abraxas) adorn the foyer selling or giving away pleasurable drink. Now, don't get me wrong I love a good frappaccino from this company, but would Jesus be happy seeing a symbol of a mythical creature adorning the walls of His house? And let's go a step further, the cross itself. . .why do we constantly want to remember His death, when what separates us from any other religion is His resurrection. . .an empty tomb. I think we should all wear little gold and silver empty tombs around our necks or have a giant empty tomb at the top of our steeple. Maybe this is a little extreme, but do we serve a risen savior or not? Don't get me wrong the blood shed for the payment of our sins is extremely important. Another thing I struggle with is all the many gray areas that have invaded our culture. What ever happened to black and white sin. Oh if only sins were sin. Now it seems that everything is ok. Take for instance piracy. How easy it would be for me to justify copying my old VHS curriculum onto DVD's so that I could use it for ministry. . .I mean after all, we own the VHS copies and we need to use them for ministry, but alas they are copy protected and it is considered piracy. Even though I know a way around this, it is still against the law. I will have to say at first I was like. . .Go for it, you own the tapes and you'll be using it for ministry. ..who cares? But now I see I am truly a sinner. .. I want our ministry to be based on honesty and integrity and if I give in to this temptation, how easy would it be for me to justify something even bigger. I feel convicted that I even let the thought pass through my mind. And yet, society would say what's the big deal. The big deal is that we have let society mold our morals and ethics and not God. Oh that I may hear and listen to that still small voice. May I never lose that conviction of the Holy Spirit. May my eyes always be open with discernment. May I have the eyes of Christ.

I Am Messed Up!

Have you ever had that moment in your life when you think you have got it all under control and then along comes God and flips you totally upside down. Well, that would be me this last month or so. God is doing something. He's got something working in that brain of His. I'm not sure what the plan is or what is going to happen next. And, although I am totally messed up by this, there is an air of excited and anticipation about it all. What can a person do when God steps in and messes up the plan? What can a person say? God says, "My ways are not your ways and My thoughts are not your thoughts!" I guess this is where faith comes. If we could just set our plans and goals and dreams aside for just a few moments and focus on the desires of God's heart and mind, what would happen? What miraculous thing would happen in our lives and our ministries? Would we be so attached to the ordinary that we dig our fingernails in and like a spoiled child kick our feet and scream. .. NOOOOOO! I like Ordinary Land! I like the Status Quo and what I have accomplished! Or would we wallow in the presence of God seeking more of Him and desiring that we cast ourselves aside. Do we truly realize that it is not about us, that it is not about our ministry or our position or about what we think we want? Do we truly grasp the Big Picture? Oh that I may be messed up on a daily basis. That I might see God for who and what He truly is without placing Him in a box labeled "my way or the highway!" That I will free God up to do what only He is capable of doing. Do I realize that He doesn't need my help or input? Mess me up!! This uncomfortable place is changing me into what you want. . .there is a shifting taking place in my heart.

How Holy Is He?

I stand amazed and in awe of the holiness of God. I have been reading a book by R.A. Torrey entitled the Power of Prayer and the Prayer of Power. In it he speaks about how to enter into the presence of God. He speaks of the seraphim in Isaiah 6 who covered their faces and feet in the presence of God. Seraphim means “burning ones”. He talks about how the seraphim are burning because they are buring with the fire of the holiness of God. They are burning with holiness. ( Oh if only I could be so holy that I burn with the fire of the Almighty God.) He goes on to say that we can enter into the presence of God simply with the covering of the blood of Jesus. Consider this. We were created a little lower than the angels and yet, they burn with His holiness. They are without sin. . .no sin nature. We were created in God’s image and because of the fall of Adam and Eve, we have a sin nature. We can never be perfectly holy as these beings. Yet, even they, being holy must cover their faces and feet in the presence of Almighty God or be consumed. What kind of god is this? How holy must He be that even sinless creatures must cover their faces in His presence? There is no one like Him in all the universe. He is so holy! And yet, we can go boldly before the Lord. We as sinful as we are do not have to cover our face to enter into His presence for we are covered by the blood of Jesus. We have a sort of blood covered force field. How wonderful that He loves us enough and wants to commune with us that we can enter with the covering of the blood of Jesus into His presence anytime we wish. Not that we would be able to look at His face, for no man has peered into the face of God and survived. But oh the joy that floods my very being to know that I am always welcome into His presence. I pray that this new year I take advantage of every opportunity to sit at the throne of God and sing with the seraphim “Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty

One Night Stand, Dating, Engaged or Married to Jesus?

So, I'm wondering if that title got anyone's attention. I've really been thinking about this lately. When it comes to our relationship with Christ are we just enjoying a one night stand with Him or are we totally 100% sold out and committed to Him. Are we just seeing Him every now and then, spending a couple hours a week with him doing fun stuff or are we spending every waking moment with Him. Are we enjoying the the gifts He gives us when we are around Him, the preparation time, the planning for His return, or have do we know Him so well that we know what His thought are? Are His ways our ways. Can we feel His heartbeat, anticipate His next breath? Are we in this relationship with Christ for the long haul or are we just drunk with the goosebumps from the last convention, conference, sermon, worship song. We need to get beyond the engagement with Jesus. He's coming back sooon for His bride, not His concubine, not His date, not His fiancee. HIS BRIDE! I want to be married to Christ, not just having an emotional fling with Him. How about you?!

Choose Your Side. . .Protect or Destroy!

I recently did a talk to our youth group about being transformed. I used the new transformers movie as an example. Their website says, Choose your side Protect or Destroy. As Christians, we need to decide if we are going to Protect the witness of Christ or Destroy it. Are we going to protect our body soul and mid or destroy them. There is a great illustration with this movie. There is Optimus Prime and there is Megatron who is part of the Decepticons. In our Chirstian walk, how many times do we end up looking like something we're not. Do we have an Optiaml or Prime relationship with Christ or are we Deceptive? Optimal means most favorable or desirable; best optimal conditions, ideal, perfect. Prime means first in excellence, quality or value. When people see us are they seeing our relationship as desirable or ideal or do we masquerade as something we're not. Appearing to be a Christian on Sunday or at church events, but turning into something else when we are around others? Are we a sports car on Sunday and a destructive self anhilating robot every other day of the week. Blindly doing the bidding of the world until we are totally consumed and destroyed. God wants us to be transformed but once we are transformed he wants us to not go back to the way we were. So, I encourage you, Choose to protect! Protect the view of Christianity, protect the Witness of Christ or Destroy yourself: physically, mentally, spiritually and the Witness of Christ!

II Corinthians 11:13-15, Romans 12:2, II Corinthians 3:18, Phillipians 3:21

G_D Forgets!

I thought I'd take a minute and share my feelings with you about G_d. I find it fascinating, flabbergasting even what He is all about. I mean can we even wrap our tiny finite minds around who and what He truly is. COnsider this, The Maker of the heavens and earth and all created things, Almighty Ruler and King, the Lion and the Lamb, the Father and the Son cares enough about one person among 60 billion to think about and love me. Or even you. We are so insignificant in the world view, yet of all the 60 billion people on the planet, He still takes the "time" to hear our cries, listen to our laughter. And here's another thing that blows my mind. . .G_d is all knowing, all powerful and is everywhere at one time. . .and as amazing and uncomprehensible as that is, there is one thing He does that you would think a being of this magnitude would be incapable of. . .HE FORGETS!!! Doesn't that blow your mind?! HE FORGETS!!! When I come to Him and ask forgiveness for my sins HE FORGETS. "He's buried my sins in the depths of the sea of forgetfullness. . . As far as the east is from the west He's removed my transgressions from me!!" Yet, we're the ones who keep bringing it up. WE come back again and again and say, "G_d remember when I did. . .?" and he says, "What are you talking about! I remember no such thing!" And we do it to other people. . ."G_d you remember so & so and all the things they have done in their lives? (and we list them out) and once again, God says, "What are you talking about?" He's forgotten it. The saved prostitue, the saved drug abuser, the saved homosexual, the saved child pornographer (I stepped on some toes with a couple of those). . .He's forgotten it. It is covered. Now, does that mean they go and continue doing those things. . .Romans 6:1 says: Do we keep on sinning so that grace may abound? By no means!" Jesus told the woman at the well. . ."Go and sin no more". It is forgotten, We are forgiven, but stop doing it! Get good Christian support. Find someone you're accountable too. Keep praying. And most importantly of all, stop beating yourself over past sins that you've repented for and of which you have been forgiven!!!

Ironing

Today my rant will pose the question, "What is with all the ironing". Maybe it's because I suffer from MOTIVAITON CONSTIPATION or maybe it's becuase it is inane and annoying, but I hate ironing. I can iron a shirt for 15 minutes and it will look like I haven't touched it at all. Although I am getting better with my husband's dress shirts since his job requires them. But i guess my number one frustration with ironing are those people who iron everything. They iron their jeans. They iron their sheets. They iron their t-shirts. I even know people who iron their undies. What is the big deal!! Some will say it is more comfortable to sleep in ironed sheets. . .can you really tell the difference after the second night. Do they change their sheets everyday so they don't sleep on wrinkly ones? And aren't blue jeans supposed to feel worn. I had one friend who would starch them so much that they could probably stand on their own. I like my jeans soft and comfortable and without pleats ironed into them. And don't even get me started on the people who iron their underwear. . .that makes no sense to me at all. No one's gonna see them (hopefully) and if undies fit properly, won't they smooth out and no wrinkles will show. Maybe these people have a strange Obsessive Ironing Compulsion. I think I'll call it OIC or "Oh ick" for me. If anyone can explain this to me, PLEASE do so. Maybe for me it's just MOTIVATION CONSTIPATION as I said before, but come on, there are only so many hours in a day. And life is short. When I die and stand before St. Peter at the pearly gates and he asks me what I did with my life, I don't want to say, "Well, I spent the majority of it ironing my undies and bedsheets. . ." Enjoy life. Be comfortable. Throw the iron away!!!!

Procrastination. ..or Motivation Constipation

I don't know what it is about me, but tomorrow has become my new favorite day. Unfortunately tomorrow never comes for me. I have soooo many projects started with goo intentions and I can't seem to get motivated to do any of them. The most important are some art projects for a consulting job I have. I have put them off for almost four weeks and they will need to ship soon. Not to mention some art projects for friend si had lined up. Some of my MOTIVATION CONSTIPATION stems from a genuine busy schedule and another part is straight up apathy. Maybe it's because I know I won't be getting paid to do the work I'm doing and money is tight. Or maybe it is more fun to go to lunch with friends or talk to them on the phone then sit behind a computer screen typing in information about an event that I won't even be attending. Sometimes I think it's more important to spend time with family. Sometimes I'm saving my son from trying to kill himself as he's climbing on the couch or going after the dog's toy. Sometimes I'm keeping him from throwing things in the toilet or splashing in the dog's water dish. Sometimes I just need a nap or I need to eat. Whatever the case I can come up with a million excuses as to why I have MOTIVATION CONSTIPATION and yet none of them are good enough to justify me wasting even more time typing out this blog entry or chatting on yahoo or whatever else I can think of the keep from doing the task at hand. Does anyone else suffer from this? Is there laxitive for this. . .I don't know, maybe that's my problem and I'm too relaxed already. . .